The Travellers Tales of Otto Von Weirdigan
Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:29 pm
OTTO VON WEIRDIGAN – BIO
Never in the proud and golden history of Xertherus 7’s University of Methodical Buddhist Tec-Scientology had they had such a pupil in their ranks. Loud and outspoken, brash and unhinged, Otto Von Weirdigan was voted ‘The Xert Most Likely to Cause the Universe To Disappear up its own Arsehole’ by the College professors for a record 5 Thurucycles.
The reason for this will become known as I, Thermopiles the mystic Cosmoshrink to the mentally and cosmically unwell re-open the well-thumbed files of his exploits. Only fragments of his story are typed here.
On his first day of induction to the University he turned up naked to his first lecture wearing a placard saying ‘My Name is Otto, and this is how I was brought into the world and I am proud of who I am!’ On the reverse side it read ‘Ladies, any sexual favours you require of me must be submitted in writing only on the last day of every month due to my busy schedule’.
(Apparently he was most successful with the girls with this act of bravado and confidence but that’s beside the bloody point!) The Dean almost soiled himself with fury and was ready to have him cast out of the fraternity; the only thing that actually saved him (and let him continue his unorthodox ways) was that Otto had procured some incriminating phezographic evidence of the Dean’s secret liaisons with Flower, the university’s mascot duck. (I don’t think Flower will ever lay an egg again after that encounter I can tell you that for nothing! Ahem.)
By the end of the first term Otto had made himself a comfortable niche in the university, now having a plush room and study to himself (due to the professional agreement between him and the Dean.) he began to practice and investigate independently from the curriculum provided by the school and his methods (which he disclosed to me only during one of his therapy sessions) were far from the norm.
He started (or should I say continued, (how he had done this I know not)) his research in matter and particle trans-location and apparently (Bollocks!) created a time machine, of which he had used many times to add to intellectual arsenal. To get to this stage of his research he said had taken three years, and as he had progressed through this time he had become more unhinged almost as if the knowledge he had discovered in his so called ‘travels’ had drained the sanity from him.
They found him at the end of the term of his third year in the Neo Christian Church on campus, nailed on the large crucifix that adorned the nave of this religious campus. And above his head a sign that was written in his own handwriting that read; ‘If this is the price I pay for my immortality and to cleanse me of my sins, then with insight and far sight I hammer the third nail in myself.
As they proceeded to remove him from the cross they realised that he was still alive, he was placed carefully into the Levi stretcher. Whilst the stretcher was being moved to the medical wing of the campus, the medicist noticed a strange movement coming from Otto’s chest under his clothing. On further investigation of the movement my the medicist resulted in the aforementioned screaming loudly and fainting dead away, unfortunately down four flights of stairs (That they had been climbing at the time.) and collided into one of the janitors metal lockers which promptly fell on top of the unfortunate man.
Hence a mortician and the janitor with a bottle containing very strong detergent were called in to remove the remains.
What had caused the medic’s extreme shock was revealed when they finally reached the med-wing. Grafted somehow to Otto’s chest was the head of a dog! It was an Altairian Smooth Hound. (Similar to a Dachshund but creamy white with three red eyes) And seemingly it was alive and showing no signs of distress, in fact it seemed quite pleased to see them the orderly told me later.
The doctor informed me when I was called to the incident that both patient and passenger were doing very well, Otto had been near to asphyxiation and the timely arrival of the grounds keeper on his evening rounds had saved his life.
During that first night I stayed with him to monitor his sleep patterns and try to establish a link into his subconscious, this failed miserably and the only information that came from the subject was in the form of terrified rants whilst he was subjected to what I thought must be vivid nightmares.
Over the next few weeks I visited the hospital that he had been moved to. Otto was making excellent progress to full health and appeared nonplussed about the canine’s head in his chest and said that his name was Alabaster. Of his experiences he claimed that he had no memory of them and was adamant and eager to continue with his studies forthwith. But I had a flash of insight from my omni-subconscious locater implant that I activated at the beginning of every visit to Otto, a voice that sounded like him but somehow sounded more synthetic and false than this young mans baritone.
It was saying one word over and over again becoming more frenzied and unhinged, there was distinct sound of white noise crackling and shrieking in the background. The word was indistinct but growing more and more palpable by the second until the word howled and gibbered and roared the word ‘Soul Mech’. For a split second I saw Otto in the form that he had been ranting about in his subconscious terror. I left quickly, muttering my goodbyes and trying to contain my disquiet.
After that episode I had with the patient, it was brought to my attention later that he had signed himself out of the hospital that same night and had returned to his abode on campus where he would not admit visitors for over a fortnight. Strange stories were buzzing around the University about shouts, screams and commotions being heard coming from his room, and when finally X Tec security turned up and forced entry into his apartment, they found him calmly sitting on his sofa reading a book with a hot cup of choco.
With his room intact and with no obvious indication or evidence of any disturbance the security team with an embarrassed ‘sorry’ left him and promptly sued the University for time wasting.
The last two years of University life for Otto were a maelstrom of reckless fornication, intense personal study and outright contempt for his peers; he was constantly at odds with all the instructors especially with the History professor Arnold Lintenburgen. Who he had thought practiced history like a ‘twat’ (His words not mine.) and that the professors knowledge was flawed to incompetence. The professor was unsettled by the fact that Otto talked about ancient history in the first term, as if he had actually been there. And how he disclosed information that had never been recorded in any archives but invariably made sense in the grand scale of things.
But that didn’t stop Arnold laying Otto out with a punch for his impudence. The moral being, don’t ever disrespect a teacher especially when he’s an obsidian belt nano-kara-sumo instructor in his time off.
Well, those are a few examples of Otto’s escapades. As I write this he has left the University with full honours on all of his given subjects just a week ago. Before he left I managed to glean a little more information from him of his experiences. To cut to the chase (as I have a luncheon appointment with my secretary.) he is certain that somebody has been watching and following him on his ‘Travels through Time’ as he calls it. And he is certain that it is a soul mech of himself (Which of course is impossible) and that it has been created to stop him from doing some great task he has been born to do.
There you go Harry, a classic example of delusions of grandeur, or is it? I hope this memo has helped you in some way in your psychology thesis and you can draw your own conclusions of the instability and fragility of the human mind. Take care of yourself son.
Thermopiles.
P.s. Bear in mind that they never found out how he put the last nail in! And no forensic data supports an accomplice in this. So keep your mind open at all times!
OVERVIEW
Contrary to the aforementioned report, Otto has time travelled and although he has memory of most of his experiences there are a few that come to him in fragments. The time machine he created malfunctioned a year ago (three years after his stint at university) unfortunately trapping him ten years into the future. The machine has been cunningly hidden and Otto hopes (and believes) that the parts he requires can be found so he can continue his research.
To that end, he has been taking jobs as a field researcher for various companies and corporations; this has taken him to many of the Outland worlds where he has basically used the jobs to conduct his own investigations into the essential components he needs for his time machine. Due to his sometimes erratic and abrasive nature Otto has few friends, his best friend being the dog that is grafted to his skin.
Otto is in essence a good person; he hates to see regimes and points of view enforced onto civilisations and is a tolerant believer in the Dualist Heresy. It seems he has had the common sense (or is just waiting for a good opportunity) not to oppose the Empire in any shape or form yet, but working in the Outlands has fuelled his hatred for them. Otto feels that technology is a very special gift that needs to grow with the developing world, and is not to be thrown upon a technologically inferior world like an orphan without guidance. And the needless killing of the helpless inhabitants for the complete domination of their home worlds makes his blood boil.
‘People and worlds must develop and evolve at their own speed without some dirty great big red bastard stuffing it down their throats’.
So, his quest continues….
DESRIPTION
A tall man, Otto stands at six feet and two inches with short brown hair and piercing green eyes that almost seem to look through the people he sees and addresses. The small wire framed glasses accentuates that fact.
A long vertical scar that runs under his right eye and finishes at the tip of his chin enhances his handsome features somehow. This injury was sustained during the teleportation accent that will be described later.
He is normally very abrupt and sometimes very rude with people, but if their opinions or causes match his own in some way he will open up to them more. I mean, how can one man take on the might of the Dragon Empire?
Alabaster and Otto are symbiotic, due to an accident whilst Otto was trying to master teleportation through the use of a machine that he had devised at University. The teleporter malfunctioned and the Altairian Smooth Hound that was originally his pet (and the subject for his experiment) became a whole lot more to Otto as it was teleported to precisely the same location as the researcher and was fused to his body.
As a result Otto’s skin on occasion to shift as if independently alive, and he himself often adopts canine characteristics.
Alabaster can communicate psychically with Otto (and vice versa) and can sometimes sense things that the Xert cannot detect such as smells and also the presence of unseen things. He believes Otto will be able to create some machine that will be able to separate them from each other but secretly is happy with his lot. Alabaster is growing in intelligence all the time and fears that he will lose his gift if separated from Otto.
Otto is normally found wearing fire retardant overalls that are oil stained and bulging with tools in every pocket.
Never in the proud and golden history of Xertherus 7’s University of Methodical Buddhist Tec-Scientology had they had such a pupil in their ranks. Loud and outspoken, brash and unhinged, Otto Von Weirdigan was voted ‘The Xert Most Likely to Cause the Universe To Disappear up its own Arsehole’ by the College professors for a record 5 Thurucycles.
The reason for this will become known as I, Thermopiles the mystic Cosmoshrink to the mentally and cosmically unwell re-open the well-thumbed files of his exploits. Only fragments of his story are typed here.
On his first day of induction to the University he turned up naked to his first lecture wearing a placard saying ‘My Name is Otto, and this is how I was brought into the world and I am proud of who I am!’ On the reverse side it read ‘Ladies, any sexual favours you require of me must be submitted in writing only on the last day of every month due to my busy schedule’.
(Apparently he was most successful with the girls with this act of bravado and confidence but that’s beside the bloody point!) The Dean almost soiled himself with fury and was ready to have him cast out of the fraternity; the only thing that actually saved him (and let him continue his unorthodox ways) was that Otto had procured some incriminating phezographic evidence of the Dean’s secret liaisons with Flower, the university’s mascot duck. (I don’t think Flower will ever lay an egg again after that encounter I can tell you that for nothing! Ahem.)
By the end of the first term Otto had made himself a comfortable niche in the university, now having a plush room and study to himself (due to the professional agreement between him and the Dean.) he began to practice and investigate independently from the curriculum provided by the school and his methods (which he disclosed to me only during one of his therapy sessions) were far from the norm.
He started (or should I say continued, (how he had done this I know not)) his research in matter and particle trans-location and apparently (Bollocks!) created a time machine, of which he had used many times to add to intellectual arsenal. To get to this stage of his research he said had taken three years, and as he had progressed through this time he had become more unhinged almost as if the knowledge he had discovered in his so called ‘travels’ had drained the sanity from him.
They found him at the end of the term of his third year in the Neo Christian Church on campus, nailed on the large crucifix that adorned the nave of this religious campus. And above his head a sign that was written in his own handwriting that read; ‘If this is the price I pay for my immortality and to cleanse me of my sins, then with insight and far sight I hammer the third nail in myself.
As they proceeded to remove him from the cross they realised that he was still alive, he was placed carefully into the Levi stretcher. Whilst the stretcher was being moved to the medical wing of the campus, the medicist noticed a strange movement coming from Otto’s chest under his clothing. On further investigation of the movement my the medicist resulted in the aforementioned screaming loudly and fainting dead away, unfortunately down four flights of stairs (That they had been climbing at the time.) and collided into one of the janitors metal lockers which promptly fell on top of the unfortunate man.
Hence a mortician and the janitor with a bottle containing very strong detergent were called in to remove the remains.
What had caused the medic’s extreme shock was revealed when they finally reached the med-wing. Grafted somehow to Otto’s chest was the head of a dog! It was an Altairian Smooth Hound. (Similar to a Dachshund but creamy white with three red eyes) And seemingly it was alive and showing no signs of distress, in fact it seemed quite pleased to see them the orderly told me later.
The doctor informed me when I was called to the incident that both patient and passenger were doing very well, Otto had been near to asphyxiation and the timely arrival of the grounds keeper on his evening rounds had saved his life.
During that first night I stayed with him to monitor his sleep patterns and try to establish a link into his subconscious, this failed miserably and the only information that came from the subject was in the form of terrified rants whilst he was subjected to what I thought must be vivid nightmares.
Over the next few weeks I visited the hospital that he had been moved to. Otto was making excellent progress to full health and appeared nonplussed about the canine’s head in his chest and said that his name was Alabaster. Of his experiences he claimed that he had no memory of them and was adamant and eager to continue with his studies forthwith. But I had a flash of insight from my omni-subconscious locater implant that I activated at the beginning of every visit to Otto, a voice that sounded like him but somehow sounded more synthetic and false than this young mans baritone.
It was saying one word over and over again becoming more frenzied and unhinged, there was distinct sound of white noise crackling and shrieking in the background. The word was indistinct but growing more and more palpable by the second until the word howled and gibbered and roared the word ‘Soul Mech’. For a split second I saw Otto in the form that he had been ranting about in his subconscious terror. I left quickly, muttering my goodbyes and trying to contain my disquiet.
After that episode I had with the patient, it was brought to my attention later that he had signed himself out of the hospital that same night and had returned to his abode on campus where he would not admit visitors for over a fortnight. Strange stories were buzzing around the University about shouts, screams and commotions being heard coming from his room, and when finally X Tec security turned up and forced entry into his apartment, they found him calmly sitting on his sofa reading a book with a hot cup of choco.
With his room intact and with no obvious indication or evidence of any disturbance the security team with an embarrassed ‘sorry’ left him and promptly sued the University for time wasting.
The last two years of University life for Otto were a maelstrom of reckless fornication, intense personal study and outright contempt for his peers; he was constantly at odds with all the instructors especially with the History professor Arnold Lintenburgen. Who he had thought practiced history like a ‘twat’ (His words not mine.) and that the professors knowledge was flawed to incompetence. The professor was unsettled by the fact that Otto talked about ancient history in the first term, as if he had actually been there. And how he disclosed information that had never been recorded in any archives but invariably made sense in the grand scale of things.
But that didn’t stop Arnold laying Otto out with a punch for his impudence. The moral being, don’t ever disrespect a teacher especially when he’s an obsidian belt nano-kara-sumo instructor in his time off.
Well, those are a few examples of Otto’s escapades. As I write this he has left the University with full honours on all of his given subjects just a week ago. Before he left I managed to glean a little more information from him of his experiences. To cut to the chase (as I have a luncheon appointment with my secretary.) he is certain that somebody has been watching and following him on his ‘Travels through Time’ as he calls it. And he is certain that it is a soul mech of himself (Which of course is impossible) and that it has been created to stop him from doing some great task he has been born to do.
There you go Harry, a classic example of delusions of grandeur, or is it? I hope this memo has helped you in some way in your psychology thesis and you can draw your own conclusions of the instability and fragility of the human mind. Take care of yourself son.
Thermopiles.
P.s. Bear in mind that they never found out how he put the last nail in! And no forensic data supports an accomplice in this. So keep your mind open at all times!
OVERVIEW
Contrary to the aforementioned report, Otto has time travelled and although he has memory of most of his experiences there are a few that come to him in fragments. The time machine he created malfunctioned a year ago (three years after his stint at university) unfortunately trapping him ten years into the future. The machine has been cunningly hidden and Otto hopes (and believes) that the parts he requires can be found so he can continue his research.
To that end, he has been taking jobs as a field researcher for various companies and corporations; this has taken him to many of the Outland worlds where he has basically used the jobs to conduct his own investigations into the essential components he needs for his time machine. Due to his sometimes erratic and abrasive nature Otto has few friends, his best friend being the dog that is grafted to his skin.
Otto is in essence a good person; he hates to see regimes and points of view enforced onto civilisations and is a tolerant believer in the Dualist Heresy. It seems he has had the common sense (or is just waiting for a good opportunity) not to oppose the Empire in any shape or form yet, but working in the Outlands has fuelled his hatred for them. Otto feels that technology is a very special gift that needs to grow with the developing world, and is not to be thrown upon a technologically inferior world like an orphan without guidance. And the needless killing of the helpless inhabitants for the complete domination of their home worlds makes his blood boil.
‘People and worlds must develop and evolve at their own speed without some dirty great big red bastard stuffing it down their throats’.
So, his quest continues….
DESRIPTION
A tall man, Otto stands at six feet and two inches with short brown hair and piercing green eyes that almost seem to look through the people he sees and addresses. The small wire framed glasses accentuates that fact.
A long vertical scar that runs under his right eye and finishes at the tip of his chin enhances his handsome features somehow. This injury was sustained during the teleportation accent that will be described later.
He is normally very abrupt and sometimes very rude with people, but if their opinions or causes match his own in some way he will open up to them more. I mean, how can one man take on the might of the Dragon Empire?
Alabaster and Otto are symbiotic, due to an accident whilst Otto was trying to master teleportation through the use of a machine that he had devised at University. The teleporter malfunctioned and the Altairian Smooth Hound that was originally his pet (and the subject for his experiment) became a whole lot more to Otto as it was teleported to precisely the same location as the researcher and was fused to his body.
As a result Otto’s skin on occasion to shift as if independently alive, and he himself often adopts canine characteristics.
Alabaster can communicate psychically with Otto (and vice versa) and can sometimes sense things that the Xert cannot detect such as smells and also the presence of unseen things. He believes Otto will be able to create some machine that will be able to separate them from each other but secretly is happy with his lot. Alabaster is growing in intelligence all the time and fears that he will lose his gift if separated from Otto.
Otto is normally found wearing fire retardant overalls that are oil stained and bulging with tools in every pocket.